双语:总是忍不住刷朋友圈 你可能得了FOMO

“你有Clubhouse邀请码吗?”这句话成为最近大众的又一流行密语。2月1日,硅谷“钢铁侠”马斯克在Clubhouse创建了聊天室,只要有邀请码,好像就能进入互联网大佬圈,甚至一个邀请码在eBay上被炒到100美元。天价背后,透露的是大众不想漏掉任何最新消息的心态,即FOMO(fear of missing out)。

FOMO是什么?

Fear of missing out or FOMO is "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent". This social angst is characterized by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing".

FOMO一词来源于英语短语Fear of missing out. “害怕错过”(常缩写为FOMO)指的是担心自己缺席时,其他人会获得有益体验的一种普遍的忧虑情绪。这种社交焦虑的特点是“希望一直知晓其他人在做什么”。

FOMO is also defined as a fear of regret, which may lead to a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying events.

“害怕错过”还可以定义为一种遗憾,这有可能导致一种强迫性的关心,比如担心自己可能错失了一次社交机会,一种新奇体验,一项有利可图的投资,或者其他让人满意的事情。

在信息爆炸的今天,你是否总觉得有刷不完的动态?短信、电子邮件、朋友更新的社交动态、最新发布的流媒体音乐视频、瞬息万变的股市基金行情、不停更新的新闻……我们一边疲于查阅各类消息,一边担心漏掉一些重要的商业线索,亦或是身边人在热议的八卦。甚至有,你不刷,别人刷了,别人就可能超过你的心态。这些都在加剧着FOMO情绪。

FOMO会让你更幸福吗?

The answer is definitely: NO. Researchers have found that FOMO leads us to check social media more frequently, leading to a negative cycle that can be hard to break. FOMO can lead to feelings of depression, loneliness, and boredom. Your mood will be easily influenced by others and your life starts to be controlled by the outside world.

答案是显然的,并不会。研究人员发现,FOMO让我们更频繁地查看社交媒体,形成很难打破的恶性循环。FOMO会产生抑郁、孤独和无聊的心理状态。你的心情开始轻易被别人影响,生活开始为外界所掌控。

我们每天花费大量的时间和注意力,去消费大量的信息,并经常让FOMO引导我们将自己的生活与社交媒体上其他人的生活进行比较。这种比较常常让我们感到不满意。因为我们往往在社交媒体上看到的都是别人分享的高光时刻,而自己的生活却是一地鸡毛。

如何减少FOMO的心理特征?

看到这里,是否觉得该关闭朋友圈功能甚至扔掉手机以避免频繁刷社交媒体带来的负面影响呢?倒也不必。要想破除“错失恐惧”造成的迷局,最关键还是在现实生活中找到足够的社会支持以满足自己的归属需求。可以从以下三个方面入手:

Change your focus

调整心态

Rather than focusing on what you lack, try noticing what you have. You can change your feed that triggers your FOMO. "Meritocracy society" is advocated today, but in fact, everyone owns their own success. Try to reduce our screen time, focus on building your own path to success and do what you like. Live in the moment, you will find nothing is missing out in our life!

与其关注你所缺乏的东西,不如试着注意你所拥有的东西。你可以少看一些引发“害怕错过”情绪的信息。在“精英社会”被大力提倡的今天,其实每一个人都有一条属于自己的成功之路。试着减少手机屏幕使用时间,构建属于自己的成功道路,做自己喜欢的事。活在当下,你会发现没有什么遗憾!

Keep a journal

坚持写日记

It is common to post on social media to keep a record of the fun things you do. However, you may find yourself noticing a little too much about whether people are validating your experiences online. If this is the case, you may try to keep a personal journal of your best memories, either online or on paper. Keeping a journal can help you to shift your focus from public approval to private appreciation of the things that make your life great. This shift can sometimes help you to get out of the cycle of FOMO.

在社交媒体上发帖记录自己做得有趣的事情是很常见的。然而,你可能会发现自己会更在意别人对你的反应。如果是这样的话,不妨试试把你最美好的回忆写成个人日记,可以是电子的,也可以是纸质的。写日记可以帮助你把关注点从公众的认可转移到真正让生活变得美好的事物上。这种转变有时可以帮助你走出“害怕错过”的怪圈。

Seek out real connections

寻求真正的连接

You may find yourself seeking a greater connection when you are feeling depressed or anxious, and this is healthy. Feelings of loneliness or exclusion are actually our brain's way of telling us that we want to seek out greater connections with others and increase our sense of belonging. Rather than trying to connect more with people on social media, why not arrange to meet up with someone in person? Talking with families, making plans with a good friend, or creating a group outing that can help you to shake that feeling that you are missing out.

当你感到沮丧或焦虑时,你可能会发现自己想要更多与外界建立联系,这是正常的。孤独或排斥的感觉,实际是大脑在告诉我们,我们想要寻求与他人更多的联系,增加归属感。与其试图在社交媒体上与人们建立更多的联系,为什么不安排与某人亲自见面呢?与家人交谈,与好朋友制定计划,或创建一个团体郊游,可以帮助你摆脱“害怕错过”的感觉。

“害怕错过”,会让我们错过了自己真正的生活。春节期间,不妨让我们放下手机,多把时间留给线下生活,留给家人朋友,忘掉FOMO,体验一把JOMO(Joy of missing out)的快乐吧!